My Overdue Pumpkin

Baby Blue and I have made it all the way up the fruit scale to a mini pumpkin. Sadly, the fruit analogies stop at 40 weeks even though my pregnancy continues. I am somewhat amused that the baby is being compared to a pumpkin since it is Fall now and pumpkins are everywhere from grocery stores to magazine covers to front porches. Just thinking about this makes me want a nice slice of pumpkin pie and a pumpkin spice latte (texting Mike now). But more than anything, I want to SEE and HOLD my little pumpkin:)

Being past our due date was in some ways a relief. We received more calls, emails, texts than I think I've ever received leading up to that day. I don't know if I have ever been this popular, or will ever be again. Though we appreciate the support (really), it is nice that the pressure of a date has passed. I felt as though I was already the parent making excuses for my child..."I don't know why Blue was late, but I'm sure it won't happen again. I am so sorry!" On the other hand, I felt like the protective mother wanting to say, "Leave my baby alone! Blue will come when good and ready!" But as we know, this baby has a mind of its own, and so we are somewhat used to these games...I don't know where this baby gets it from? :)

My mood goes from excited in the morning, as it could be THE day, to disappointed at night that it was so not THE day. I fall asleep praying for painful contractions...and wake up annoyed that I slept pain free. I find myself going to bed later each night and waking up earlier each morning. If this continues, I will eventually become nocturnal...only taking naps during the day. At first I would try to avoid the nap hoping I'd sleep better the next night, but according to my baby websites I was advised to sleep when I can...soon, this will be the new normal.

I could for sure tell you stories from these past few days that would certainly entertain. They are stories filled with tears, child like temper tantrums (Mike, not me, of course :), wishfully imagining contractions, jumping and dancing around the house in a desperate attempt to get the baby moving, ignoring phone calls (which by the way results in more phone calls), throwing out new baby names to Mike at midnight when I can't sleep, and so much more...but for now I'm trying to practice what is called "positive self talk". So here I go...

Despite the impatience, this baby is coming and much sooner than I probably know. The moment I hold him or her I will forget about the few extra days, or even the 9 months before. In my heart, I only want a safe delivery and healthy baby and if that means today or a few more than I will be okay with that. As much as I like to think I'm in control, God is the one who created this child and the one I want to sustain this child. And at this point, God is the only one who knows the gender, due date, size, and name...so if you have a question direct it upwards!

Because we are overdue, I had two non-stress tests and one ultrasound. No, we did not find out the gender...we made it this far didn't we?? But what we did get to see was our baby at 40 weeks. It was the most amazing image, so unlike the one we saw at 20 weeks. This baby had chubby cheeks, the sweetest button nose, pouty lips, and was blinking in and out of sleep. I told Mike I thought it had my nose...to which he replied, "I think it has my face." I don't know exactly what that means, but Mike laughed when I responded, "So, you are claiming the whole face?!" Having Mike around to keep things light, when a million thoughts can keep you feeling weighed down, is such a blessing. He is just as excited and anxious...and of course was hoping not to be at work this week. Soon enough the three of us will be home together.

Not knowing the gender it has been hard for me to imagine this child with us, what it would look like and what our life might be together. But seeing this chubby cheek baby made my heart melt and it may have taken me 40 weeks, but when I once couldn't imagine life with it, I now can't picture life without it. Whenever you are ready baby blueberry...